


the ghost of you

by aheadfullofdreams89



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: And he haunts his old home, Bittersweet, Car Accidents, Explicit Language, F/M, Female Reader, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Ghost Sex, Ghost!Connor, Ghosts, Halloween, Haunted House, Human AU, Human/Monster Romance, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Second Chances, Smut, So much angst, Spooky, Suicide, Unfinished Business, connor is a ghost, friendly ghost, ghost au, monster fucking, of an OC, reader falls in love with a dead cutie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:41:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 21,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27305740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aheadfullofdreams89/pseuds/aheadfullofdreams89
Summary: You rent a house on the internet to get away from your everyday life. Rumour has it that this house is haunted but do you believe in ghosts? Of course not.That is until you start to see some things. And then see someone.Someone who shouldn't exist. Someone who gets under your skin without having a body.He has some unfinished business in this world and needs your help. Will you be able to be the one to help him move on?
Relationships: Connor (Detroit: Become Human)/Reader
Comments: 107
Kudos: 194





	1. chapter one

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Haunted Heart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27318397) by [Wolveria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolveria/pseuds/Wolveria). 



> This work was inspired by the spooky movie night over at "Hank's house" and the wonderful movie "Casper the friendly ghost"!
> 
> My contribution to Halloween 2020. Thank you for convincing me to really write this and brainstorming together, Laura! It was the best decision! ❤ 
> 
> Please go read her work too! You won't regret the awesome!
> 
> \-----------
> 
> You arrive at the house you rented for a few weeks and settle in. Some minorly strange things happen but you think nothing of it. After all ghosts don't exist right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You arrive at the house you rented for a few weeks and settle in. Some minorly strange things happen but you think nothing of it. After all ghosts don't exist right?

  
  


The door of the taxi closed with a loud thud and you shouldered the two bags you had brought on either side. From the outside the small cottage looked exactly like in the pictures. The front garden was a lot more overgrown and chaotic but the house was just as you had it in mind.  
‘Like out of a romance novel’, was the first thing you thought when you came across it on the website you rented it from.

The price had attracted you, there was no point in lying. You weren’t doing well financially but it was enough. Enough to afford this little quiet place for a while until you figured out what to do with your life next. You had needed to get away from home now after just quitting a shitty job and realized you needed some alone time. Real alone time. That was why you had told nobody where you were going, only that you’d be off the grid for a while and that nobody needed to worry. And then you had left. 

You walked up the small path to the cottage and found the key, as promised and very foolishly hidden, under a flower pot and opened up the worn wooden door.

The first thing that greeted you was the faint smell of dust and wood, which wasn’t unusual in your eyes but it tickled your nose and made you sneeze once. Looking around you found yourself standing in the dark living room. It was fully furnished far as you could tell in the fading daylight, tidy for the most part. The description had said that there might be power outages or flickering lights because of the old power supply lines. Or that the old pipes in the walls made noises at night sometimes.

In some of the reviews you had read that this was some kind of haunted house with a ghost roaming about. You had dismissed that with a chuckle and clicked the rent button anyway, because no way in hell were you gonna pass up this opportunity to have a little getaway for that little money. Ghosts or not. Not that you believed in such things. But for those who did this surely was a good selling point.

When you flipped the lights on none of the aforementioned problems occured. The lights came on in no time. You were indeed standing in the living room of the two storied house, perfectly equipped with a fireplace and a big, fluffy looking couch. Just your taste of perfect.  
It was cozy really. Homely interior, clearly done by a woman you mused, in soft colors, mixed with walnut colored wood and little trinkets here and there. 

“Nice”, you murmured to yourself and started going through the remaining rooms on the ground floor which were really just an open kitchen and sadly a very empty pantry.  
The view into the garden was nice. A small fountain, lots of overgrown plants, a bench and a tree. All of it looking a little bewitched. Probably had been done that way to match the haunted house theme. But this was a thing for tomorrow.

It was late already, your way here kind of tiring so going out to grab something to eat was out of the question and had to be a problem for tomorrow-you. The granola bar from your bag had to be enough for now, so you went back inside to flop down at the kitchen table. Soon as you sat you felt the stress of the last weeks and months fall from your shoulders a little, weight being lifted.

Everyone had wanted one thing or another from you, dragging you this direction or that. Work had long since been a factor in your life that hadn’t made you too happy and one day it finally settled in your gut. You had to change something. 2038 was your year to finally do what you liked and stopped worrying about what other people thought of you.

This change came as your two weeks notice, leaving the company’s executive officer perplexed and speechless for once in his life.  
They often had given you the impression that you were expendable. So it shouldn’t phase them that you were going to leave now right? You huffed, willing your mind to stop thinking about this and concentrated on finishing your pocket sized dinner. After all you had another string to your bow already. It just needed to work out for you this time.

A dull thud made you look up. New surroundings meant new sounds to get used to but you would be lying if you said your heart hadn’t sped up a bit.  
You waited for a repetition that didn’t come and then decided to inspect more of the house.

The upper story matched the ground floor and made the picture complete. A study, a bathroom and the bedroom were here, all looking good and not broken as you might’ve thought. The lights were working, no strange occurrences. But you had found the source of the sound apparently. A book was lying on the floor, probably had been standing on the edge on the shelf.  
You didn’t think that you’d find books here at all if you were honest. After all people used tablets for reading these days, even if you thought nothing beat the smell of a real book. But the shelves had to be filled with something right?

Putting your luggage on the double bed in the bedroom you looked around. A dresser, nightstands with lamps on either side of the heavy, comfy bed and an armchair in the corner was all that filled the space. 

Unpacking the bags you brought you exhaled loudly. Even with an open window, there was no annoying noise. No traffic, no shouting neighbours, no nothing. And for the umpteenth time today you thought to yourself that this was the best decision you had made in a long time. Plus quitting that job. That had also been quite uplifting and your savings would keep your head above water for a bit of time until you found something new.

You flopped down on the bed and squealed at how bouncy and soft the mattress was. You had no doubts about sleeping well here that much was for sure.  
Finally deciding to put on your sleep wear and call it a day you got into bed, getting comfortable.  
Before you fell into a deep slumber you thought you saw the door move but that could have been a draft for sure with how you opened all the windows. Watching for a few more moments waiting for _something_ to happen but it never did. What were you thinking? Floating books from the hallway? A figure in a bed sheet? Nonsense. 

Creeping under the oh so soft covers, you fell asleep in no time- but woke sometime during the night.

It wasn’t unusual to hear strange noises on the first night was it? You wiggled around a bit, blinking away the drowsiness, flicking on the table lamp.  
Something was tapping on wood, very faintly. Probably the mice and rats that had found a home in the attic right above you, having a blast with the stuff that had been left there by either the owner or the last people who rented this house.  
Also some creaking and scratching, like a drawer that was being opened kept you up for a spell.  
It surely were the pipes, you told yourself and soon enough the strange sounds stopped again, leaving you in silence. Turning off the lights again you turned around, facing away from the door and were angry at letting your mind play tricks on you like that. You were never scared, you weren’t scared now, but a knot was forming in your gut and you didn’t like that one bit. A draft of cold air wafted over you and you thought about closing the window again but didn’t bother getting up.

Closing your eyes you hoped to get some more sleep sometime soon and indeed drifted into dreamland not long after.  
That way you missed the shadow slowly walking by your door, making its way down to the living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beautiful header picture by [vrtuellereality](https://www.instagram.com/vrtuellereality).


	2. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The strange noises don't stop and you find yourself confronted with the former resident of the house.

  
  


The next morning you took the bike from the shed, pumped up the tyres and went to the city for a minimum shopping to fill the fridge. 

Also you cleaned the dishes because god knows when they were last used and by whom. In that regard you were a little… picky.  
So with a shining mug and a fresh coffee you went to sit on the back porch to look into the wild garden. Your phone had gone off a while earlier but you hadn’t cared enough to check then, looking at it now for the first time since you arrived.  
A timeout was a timeout. Why did people expect for you to be available when you clearly said you needed some space?

You had a few notifications, mostly friends and family asking if you had a good trip and settled in well. You replied curtly to all of them while sipping on your beverage and enjoying the calm and quiet.

Faintly you heard something like a chair being dragged across the floor but turning around a look into the kitchen just confirmed that indeed all chairs were where they ought to be.  
With a huff and you scolding yourself once again you swore that this was the last time you’d fall into the trap of catching yourself, waiting for a supernatural and gruesome being to appear out of nowhere.

After some more relaxing in the morning sun you decided to head back inside and stood at the sink, rinsing out the mug again. Maybe you’d go through the bookshelf on the first floor and find something to read. You hadn’t read an actual book in a long time. They were outdated, tablets the go to thing but books still held that kind of fascination for those who knew how to appreciate it. Nothing smelled like a real book. And with them in arm’s reach, why not take advantage of that and make a full digital detox. That sounded like a pretty good idea.  
You smiled to yourself as a rush of cool air played around your face. Before you settled down you would need to close all windows and doors again. This house was drafty as could be. 

When you turned around your heart almost stopped. There was someone, no, something, in the kitchen with you.

“Oh fucking shit!”

The mug fell to the floor and burst into a thousand tiny pieces. The thing turned around with a yelp. But the thing wasn’t so much a thing. It looked like a man. Brown hair, brown eyes, soft features. Just a bit too… pale for comfort. Were you… seeing things?

“W-what the f-fuck”, you stammered as he, it, held his hands up to waist height in a defensive manner.

“Please don’t scream”, the man-thing said, his voice soothing, eyes pleading, brows knit together in concern. Not that you could concentrate on his appearance now with how scared and on the brink of sanity you were.

“T-this can’t b-be r-real. I’m surely d-dreaming. God, no this can’t be real...”

You pinched yourself in the back of your hand, backing away until your butt hit the counter behind you and you shakily grabbed for purchase.

“Please, calm down! I’m not gonna hurt you! I’m-”

“I’m g-going insane. This time I’m really going insane…”

“You’re not. I’m real and-”

“The hell you are! Leave m-me alone! Please, I’ll leave! I’m doing anything, just don’t kill me!”

Hot tears were forming in the corner of your eyes out of sheer panic about your mental health. Or fear. Might have been a dangerous mix of both.  
Then that thing moved towards you and your voice reached a new peak you didn’t know you were capable of.

“STAY BACK!”

“Yes. Sure, sorry. I didn’t mean-”

“Fuck, no! No, no, no, no…”

“Please don’t cry.”

You felt yourself starting to hyperventilate, heart beating a mile a minute or more. Maybe the tea machine hadn’t been cleaned properly, some mildewed residue playing tricks on your mind. Or some kind of pollen in the garden made you high as a kite. Yeah. That sounded like a possibility. Maybe.

Like a fish out of water you gaped at him, the pleading eyes again, handsome face, slender frame. He didn’t look dangerous as such but you bet he could kill with a snap of his ghost-fingers. Shit, you shouldn’t really have been so stingy and gone for another, better cottage. 

“I- I’ll go. Sorry, I didn’t mean for you to see me and get frightened.”

All of a sudden you felt lightheaded, nauseous and shaken to the core. Your legs wobbled dangerously. Blinking a few times and shook your head, murmuring to yourself about how this was a nightmare and nothing more. That it was your imagination running wild and when you opened your eyes again, nothing was there. Or no one. You were alone and nothing out of the ordinary.  
Except for the shattered mug on the floor. 

When you felt like you could move again you looked around, paranoid and scared. But  
you grabbed your bag and flew out the door and onto the bike, wanting to get away, get some fresh air in your system and those hallucinations out. What was your brain trying to work through to show you a ghost of all things?

***

You had spent most of the day outside, the bicycle took you places you didn’t even know existed. This roundtrip had also cleared your head a bit and hopefully made you tired so you could sleep the rest of the day away. You were still kinda anxious to go back to that place but there was really no other option right now.

When you got back, the place was quiet and with unsure steps you made your way into the kitchen again. The remains of the mug still lay shattered on the floor and you decided to clean them up before you cut yourself. 

Looking through the cupboards in the kitchen you finally found the dustpan and carefully scooped the ceramic up to put it in the trash.  
*Just like this whole day*, you thought.  
All the while looking over your shoulder, expecting to see him, it, again but nothing happened.  
Then something on the kitchen table caught your eye. 

It was a note, neatly written and a small jingle bell laying beside it that looked like it belonged to some very old christmas decoration. Picking the note up you, feeling the paper between your fingertips you couldn’t help but acknowledge that this was indeed no trick. The note was physically here, not made up by your irrational brain.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you like this. Next time I’m in the room I’ll ring this little bell, okay? I mean no harm. ”

Shaking your head you sat down, staring at the note with a dumbfounded expression. This couldn’t be. Flicking the bell it gave a small chime. Also very real. 

Well shit. This house seemed to be haunted by a very polite ghost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beautiful header picture by [vrtuellereality](https://www.instagram.com/vrtuellereality).


	3. chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet the ghost of this house again and he's surprisingly easy to get along with. But you can't shake the feeling that he's hiding something.

  
  


You had a very short night after that very strange day, not really wanting to kill the lights and always cracking one eye open until you were way too tired and blinking resulted in sleeping.

The next morning was harsh and unforgiving and you felt like you had been hit by a truck. Several times. But you got ready anyway, shrugging on some comfortable clothes, washed your face and brushed your teeth before you made your way downstairs, always expecting to see the pale figure behind every corner or any mirror you passed. Your heart sped up and your feet followed suit.

In the kitchen you noticed that the jingle bell was gone. You had left it there the night before after contemplating leaving this house, abandoning ship and spending your weeks off at home in the ghostless safety of your own place. 

It was strange.  
You didn’t believe in ghosts or supernatural beings of any kind, yet here you were. Of all people he could be haunting he chose to go after you? Many wanted to see ghosts, visited abandoned houses and tried to summon the spirit of a deceased person. And you? You just rented a holiday home to achieve that. Life really had a way of fucking things up for you.

You poked your head into the kitchen, half expecting to be jump-scared out of your socks but, thank goodness, it was empty. You really were hungry after skipping almost every meal yesterday and looked forward to a slice of bread.  
With your filled plate you sat down on the couch and just when you were about to take the first bite you heard a faint jingle.

Food halfway to your mouth forgotten you looked around frantically and then felt a _whoosh_ of cold air. Your heart started thumping against your ribcage.  
Oh no. 

“Hello”, the calm voice you tried to forget all evening and night greeted you.  
“I hope it was okay this time? With the bell?”

You turned around and there he stood. Just like yesterday. A very pale and slender guy, brows knit together, watching you intently. 

“S-sure”, you asked more than you answered, breath hitching when he moved closer. 

“I-I’m sorry, I haven’t been around people a while. I forgot my manners. My name is Connor. What about you?”

You wanted to answer but the words wouldn’t come out. Blinking a few times finally a quiet and shaky (Y/N) came over your lips.

“(Y/N)?” The man, Connor, smiled, “what a wonderful name. It’s really nice to meet you.”

Feeling yourself nod you kept staring at him, every second that passed seemed to put you more at ease. Every second that confirmed that he seemingly wasn’t an evil spirit out for your blood and soul. Or whatever they were after. 

“I… have no idea what to say”, you admitted sheepishly. 

“It’s okay. I didn’t mean to bother you. I was just… curious maybe? I haven’t talked to anyone in ages and… I’m sorry. I should just leave and be somewhere else. Do you use the shed much?”

Your face went through a dozen of expressions in the matter of seconds.

“N-no. I don’t. But you d-don’t have to. I guess. Not like you will raid the fridge, right”, you found your sarcasm to cover up the fact you were still more than a little unsettled.

He smiled, genuinely this time and damn if that didn’t look cute on him. What in the hell?

“No, I won’t. Makes me a very good roommate, don’t you think?”

And he was trying to be funny too. Huh.

“Seems like. Yes. Sorry, if I’m a little strange. I never saw, let alone talked to a ghost. I… never knew you really existed.”

“Strange isn’t it? I didn’t either until I became one.”

His smile vanished again and you felt like you had said something you shouldn’t have. He looked lost, standing inside the living room. So out of place and out of time. Before you could come up with something he spoke up again.

“Anyway… If you don’t mind me I’d very much love to stay inside the house. Makes it easier for me…”

You didn’t bother asking what would be easier and simply nodded.

“I also meant what I said. I mean no harm and I don’t want to disturb your stay here. I didn’t even mean for you to see me. I usually stay hidden if someone ever winds up here at all. I don’t know what’s different this time.”

Connor trailed off, looking to the side and a heavy silence hung in the air.  
“Enjoy your breakfast”, he finally said, pointing to your plate and turned around to leave.  
“And don’t mind me opening drawers and stuff. I’ll put everything back where it was.”

You mumbled a quiet thanks and watched him leave up the stairs.  
Making it about halfway he addressed you once again before he wandered off.

“I saw you were eyeing the bookshelf. If you plan on reading them, start with the top shelf. I put the best ones there.”

At loss for words you stared at the spot he had been in. That ghost wasn’t only polite but also organized and tidy. Again you asked yourself. What the hell?

***

Now that Connor didn’t have to play hide and seek anymore and you finally knew where those noises came from, life became easier for the both of you.  
You had accepted the fact that there were things between heaven and earth that couldn’t be rationally explained. And you sometimes saw him out of the corner of your eye but apart from that he kept his promise to not disturb your stay. 

You had dragged the kitchen table out the kitchen doors and onto the porch to sit in the garden a lot and enjoy nature. Even though you could probably hire a gardener for a whole month to get rid of the chaos and roots and overgrown bushes until it even remotely resembled a garden again. Not that it was your responsibility.  
Maybe if the mood struck you, you’d actually start pulling out some weeds and dig around the soil a bit.

Sometimes Connor came to enjoy the view with you for a spell. Or when on the couch came to sit beside you and talk for a few minutes. Like now.

He had said it had been alone for a long time and it showed. He seemed more open to you the more you talked and if you forgot about the fact that he was actually dead you had a good time talking to him too. Connor was so easy to get along with and cute as a button. Always playing with the sleeves of his dark sweater while talking, even got muddled sometimes.  
A real dork.

***

“I don’t get it”, he mused one night, sitting beside you on the sofa, hands in his lap.

“What?”  
You looked up from your phone, once again answering a few messages with short replies.

“Why you can see me.”

Putting the phone away, you welcomed the distraction and excuse to not write back to friends and family anymore.  
“Is that… not typical?”

“No. Not in the state I was in.”

“And what was that state? Stealth mode”, you chuckled at his deep frown.

“I wasn’t in- oh. Right.”  
He chuckled back, a little flustered, and you shared a short, amused look.

“No I wasn’t even in my _materialized_ form I mean.. I… should have by all means been invisible even to the sensitive ones.”

Now it was your turn to furrow your brows.  
“Materialized? What do you mean? Sorry, I’m new to all this and ask dumb questions.”

Connor’s smile was so disarming though and he told you he didn’t mind you asking. If anything he seemed to warm up to you even more.

“I can… take on a solid form. For when I pick up the bell for example. I have to use a door the old fashioned way like that. Oh, except electrics! If I touch a lamp or the TV it’s gonna blow out. Learned that the hard way. And if I’m in my spirit form, I can put my hand through stuff. Or my whole body for that matter. Depending on what you wanna do that’s kind of a useful thing.” 

“I bet”, you laughed, “that sounds awesome and terrifying at the same time.” 

“Believe me, I freaked out the first time I wanted to pick something up and couldn’t. It _was_ terrifying. But as always you can get used to anything. It’s no big deal anymore. 20 years are a long time to adapt…”

“20 years”, you sucked in a breath. “You mean you’ve been here on your own for 20 whole years? That’s awful.”

“It was yeah. I mean, I saw people, I just couldn’t interact because I was invisible to them. When I first started to roam this house it was... occupied. For a little while at least. And then just short time visitors now and then.”  
His face fell at that, eyes dark and features hard.

“Why didn’t you leave? I mean you could float out the door and go where you wanna go right? Meet with other ghosts and do… ghost-stuff.”

Connor side-eyed you, his lips quirking up the smallest bit.  
“ _Ghost-stuff_ , huh? And what would that be? Scaring little kids and moving glasses across ouija-boards?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“The thing is… I can’t leave. I’m tied to this place now. It happens the longer your spirit lingers somewhere that you can’t cross over that invisible line anymore. This is my home. It has been for a long time, even before I died.”

“Oh, this is… this is your place? Was your place I mean? Okay, I get that you wouldn’t want to leave then.”

“Yeah. I shared it with someone special once…”  
Connor trailed off, averting his gaze. Damn, it seemed you had just dropped a brick. Of course you had to speak before you thought things over. It always was like this. 

“I’m sorry if I said something insensitive now. I didn’t mean-”

“You’re good! It’s good. I just… sometimes I wanna move on, wish my spirit would just move on to where it really belongs. And that is, by all means, not here.”

“Why can’t you”, you whispered, regarding him for a long moment.  
He was anxious, bouncing his leg and looking at nothing in particular. 

“I need to do something before I can travel on. Unfinished business so to speak. Took me 20 years already, not sure when I’ll be done.”

Not being able to help yourself and your curious nature you had to ask.

“What is it? I mean… sorry for being so nosy but… is there something I can maybe do to help?”

Connor smiled a sad smile. 

“Thank you for offering this but… I’ve stolen enough of your free time already. You’re here for vacation right? Not for helping the haunted spirit of the house.”

“It’s no trouble really! I would love to help you if I can.” 

Turning his head in your direction Connor nodded, eyes unreadable.

“Maybe another time. Used up way too much of your day as it is. I should get back to my-”

“Ghost stuff?”

“Ghost stuff.”

You shared a chuckle as Connor made to leave. You couldn’t help but feel like you had ruined the mood but at the same time you knew it was just Connor not wanting to be a burden.  
The thought of Connor being here for so long, on his own, trying to cross over but not being able to, kept you head occupied for the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beautiful header picture by [vrtuellereality](https://www.instagram.com/vrtuellereality).


	4. chapter four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader finds out what Connor is looking for and finds out so much more along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to be on the safe side! A warning for this chapter. A few people told me it's not an "Yvie-fic" if it's not incredibly sad. And this chapter starts dealing with very sad moments. So be mindful of that.
> 
> Warnings for car accidents and character death (in retrospect, because how else would Connor be a ghost right?) 
> 
> This is angst territory. And it probably won't get better from here on out. Or will it? ;)

  
  


You found him sifting through the drawers in the study upstairs a few days later, mumbling under his breath and pulling out every little item that sat in the desk’s drawers. And apparently from all the drawers and shelves in the whole room, making it look like a fucking mess.  
Coming to stand in the doorway you gaped at him.

“Connor? What are you-”

“I’m sorry, I’ll clean it up again. Just let me… Where is that thing”, he interrupted you, never even looking up.

“What are you looking for? Maybe I can-”

With a loud thud Connor had yanked the whole drawer out of the desk and dropped it on the floor, making you jump. He was reaching under the tabletop, cursing and muttering again. Then he took the drawer in hand, frantically turning it every which way and sent some remaining clutter to the floor. 

“What is going on? Connor if you keep this up I swear to-”

That was the first time he looked at you, eyes wide, a deer-in-headlights-expression on his face. “S-sorry. I got carried away.”

“You’re driving me mad with the constant noise today! What are you looking for? Maybe I have seen it?”

Connor contemplated that, you could see that he was battling with himself whether or not to tell you. Luckily he settled on yes.

“A note. A simple paper note. I don’t know how big, if folded or not. Just a note with a specific handwriting”, he finally answered, scanning the room again for more hiding places.

“A note? Why? What’s so important about a piece of paper that you would turn the whole house upside down?”

“It’s everything to me! I know it probably sounds stupid but… I just really need it.”

You nodded taking a step into the room, careful not to step on anything and break it. Connor looked at you, eyes big and a hopelessness in them that was new to you.

“Then I’m gonna help you find it! If it’s worth having a small breakdown over it’s gotta be important”, you chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

“You don’t have to-”

“But I offered. So... where did you last see it?”

Connor bit his lip, looking for all the world like a kid caught with his hands in a cookie jar. 

“I- didn’t.”

“You didn’t? Then how do you know it’s here?”

“I don’t _know_ it’s here. But… I got told it’s here.”

Knitting your brows together you didn’t question it further. You knew by now it wouldn’t do any good. Connor was as anxious as any human being you had ever seen, insecure and full of doubts. Being a ghost apparently didn’t make you a different person.

“Then we’ll find it”, you told him with finality and his face lit up, a silent thank you passing between you both. You searched the whole room, lifted the carpet, looked through every little box and in any spaces between furniture. Even moved some of the furniture but found nothing besides spiderwebs and dust. 

“Shit”, Connor mumbled when he stacked a few papers to put them back in the drawers. “Well, I don’t really expected it to be here. It’s not like I haven’t looked for the past 20 years.”

“I figured”, you answered, looking at him. He seemed so beat and despondent today, like you had never seen before in those two weeks here. Either you needed to find this little note or distract him from this tedious task. 

“Well, I gotta say... for a vacation home the closets sure are full. Is that… is that your stuff?”

Connor nodded weakly. “I guess they never cleared out properly afterwards.”

That distant look in his eyes stung your heart and you walked over to him, laying a comforting hand on his upper arm and realized you had just touched him for the first time since you arrived here. Connor jerked but didn’t shy away.  
He felt cool, like someone who had been outside for a bit in winter, but not ice cold like you had imagined. Not that you had _much_ imagined touching him. Not at all.  
You cleared your throat awkwardly.  
The worn cotton of his dark blue sweater was soft under your fingertips and you started rubbing your hand over it in a soothing manner when he turned his head, facing you. 

“I better accept the fact that I’m never gonna find it, hm”, he mumbled bitterly. 

“Don’t say that. If you know it’s here, then it is here.”

“But what if it was in the stuff that was actually thrown away?” His voice got smaller with every word he said.

“Don’t be so negative.”

“I’m just being realistic. It could have well been in the stuff that got donated or got tossed in the trash and I would never know.”

“Oh Connor…”

Out of reflex you hugged him, hugged that tall, sad guy who, soon as your arms came around his middle, hugged you back timidly. He sighed, his face pressing into your shoulder for a second before he disentangled from your embrace again.

“Th-thank you. That felt nice. Really nice. I haven’t been hugged in... so very long.”

“If I got something to give, it’s hugs”, you smiled up at him and his lips quirked up the tiniest bit.

For a moment you were completely silent, sharing a more genuine smile before you offered to search the other rooms with him. For the millionth time.

“You don’t have-”, Connor started but was interrupted by you shushing him.

“I know. But, again, I offered. I wanna help you. I don’t want you to be miserable and looking for this scrap of paper for all eternity.”

“Thank you. I really appreciate that. Bedroom next?”

You gasped at his words, fake offended.

“CONNOR! You didn’t even ask me out for dinner yet!”

It took him a moment to comprehend, but when he did, his face gave him away.

“I-I di-didn’t.. Sorry, th-that’s not wh-what-”

“Relax Connor, oh my god”, you laughed, “I was just pulling your leg. Are you… blushing? Ooooh, the pale boy is blushing! That looks adorable on you.”

“I’m… not-”, he stammered on, “pale boy? Seriously?!”

He laughed too now. 

“Just stating the facts. And now come on, take me to your bedroom, _ghost-man_. Is that better?”

“Hardly”, he grinned and you followed him out of the room.

***

Not finding anything in the bedroom either left Connor bummed out again but you tried to keep his mood up. Still. This note made you curious. Why was this so important? It was nosy to ask though, right? Not like Connor didn’t gladly answer all of your questions until now but this seemed personal. Very personal.  
Then again, he could just tell you if he didn’t wanna share it.

“Can I- Can I ask you a question, Connor?”

His head whipped around, eyes widening.

“Sure. Always.”

“What is this note? Why- why is it so important to you?”

A heavy sigh escaped him and he sat down on the bed, hands brushing nervously over the bedspread. When he didn’t answer you went on talking.

“Look- sorry. It’s none of my business really. I shouldn’t have asked. I was just-”

“It’s from my wife.”

“Your- your wife? Oh.”

You sat down beside him, letting his words sink in. This guy was looking for something his most loved one had left him and he couldn’t for the life of him find it. Oh no.

“That’s awful, Connor. I’m sorry”, you almost whispered and he nodded in response.

“I never got to read it. She told me about this note but I didn’t make it home that day...”

Suddenly you felt hot tears pricking your eyes, blurring your vision and a lump in your throat that wasn’t there a minute ago but seemed to be the size of a tennis ball already.

“Connor…”, you started but didn’t know how to end your sentence. You didn’t even know what you wanted to say really. He stared at his feet the whole time, speaking so quiet like he didn’t want you to hear what he had to say.

“I had an accident. On the way home from work one late evening. It was in winter and the weather was so bad. It had started sleeting when I got into the car and… I should have been more careful. She called me and I didn’t get the phone fast enough, she was already sent to voicemail. I-I listened to her message afterwards. Jules said she had something to tell me for a while but couldn’t. And that she had to go. It sounded so urgent and alarming and I got reckless. I was so wrapped up in picturing the most horrible scenarios and just rushed home.”

Connor hung his head, reliving these hurtful memories just because you asked. You thought you heard him tear up but maybe it was you making those sounds while wiping at your eyes angrily with the sleeve of your shirt. You couldn’t be sure.

“Then this _fucking_ curve came up. A curve that I drove along twice a day for almost five years. At the speed I was going… I lost control of the car, the breaks not working on the black ice and I slammed into a tree. I was- gone in an instant.”

You hiccuped and Connor looked to you briefly, reassuringly smiling though his sad, brown eyes betrayed him.

“It was fast. Not even painful, I didn’t suffer. I freaked out when I saw myself in that wreck of a car, lifeless and then looked at my hands. Pale and not able to grasp anything.  
It was bad. I tried to get my phone and call someone. It didn’t work. So I sat there, on the hood of that wreck and waited. A few hours later the fire department and an ambulance were called by someone who had found me while driving by. Nobody saw me sitting there. They only saw my body. I yelled and jumped right in front of their faces. I yelled until my voice gave out. Nothing. So I walked the rest of the way back. I didn’t get tired anymore so I walked for hours in this bad storm until I got home.”

By the time he told you, you were bawling. Not having expected the story to be this heartbreaking. You hated yourself for even asking about this note. That would teach you a lesson not to be so curious anymore.

“I peaked in the windows. Jules was still there, in the kitchen on her laptop. Beautiful as ever and I wanted to reach out to her, to touch her and tell her it would be okay. No matter what she wanted to tell me, it would all be good. A police car parked outside our house and she went to stand in the door, greeting them in that oversized cardigan she loved so much… They- they told her what happened. She couldn’t even cry so I cried for her instead. I kept my distance though. Just because those strangers couldn’t see me didn’t mean anything right? I didn’t want to scare her so I tried to stay hidden for a while, watching her. I-I’m sorry, that was a bit too much information, wasn’t it?”

You sniffled, tears still running freely over your cheeks as you shook your head.

“I-I asked. Can’t b-blame you for telling m-me everything. Fuck, I’m s-so sorry, Connor. I didn’t know…”

“It’s okay. How could you have known? Besides… I desperately needed to tell someone. And… it felt kinda good to say it out loud. Though I made you cry. That wasn’t my intention.”

“I know, I know. I just c-cry easily, don’t m-mind me. I’ll be fine. Gosh, I’m such a baby.”

“You’re not. You’re just very empathic. I like that.”

Connor cracked a small smile and you felt his arm coming around you, pulling you against him. You allowed yourself to let your head rest on his shoulder and when you trusted your voice again spoke up.

“We’re gonna find that note Connor. I know we will.”

He didn’t answer, just kept on rubbing your upper arm and you were already making plans on where to look next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beautiful header picture by [vrtuellereality](https://www.instagram.com/vrtuellereality).


	5. chapter five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trying to stomach Connor's horrible backstory, you get sucked in deeper as Connor opens up to you even more about his past. And while dealing with your own feelings the day takes a turn you wouldn't have expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I'll have to add a real warning. If the last chapter was heavy, then this will not be better. 👀 I love angst and I'm sorry you have to suffer because of it. 
> 
> tw: Connor talking about suicide, slight description of suicide and the aftermath too. Be mindful if this is a sensitive topic to you.

  
  


The morning had left you exhausted and numb somehow. Hearing about Connor’s death had been harder than you would’ve imagined it to be. You had given up the search for the day around noon and Connor had vanished to wherever he went during the time he didn’t talk with you. It had stirred you up emotionally and he let you deal with your thoughts the way you needed to.

Then again, what had you expected really? Either he had fallen victim to some severe sickness or it would have been an accident, ripping him out of this world.  
Would you wanna choose between those two options?

You had gotten comfy on the couch, lit up the fireplace for some warmth and taken one of the many books Connor had recommended to escape reality. Top shelf of course. Though concentrating on the words before you was hard. 

Knowing his backstory and also finding out what his unfinished business was, you understood why it was so important for him to find this scrap of paper. Never knowing what his wife wanted to tell him must’ve been agony. It was no wonder he couldn’t find rest without it. 

You found yourself thinking of him a lot lately. Ever since he warmed up to you more and more, you grew fonder of him by the second. He was a sweet and kind soul, always so nice to be around. Silence was never awkward with him and you had clicked from the start. Or well, after you got used to the fact that there was a ghost roaming this house. 

It was easy to like him and you had to admit, he didn’t look half-bad. Quite the contrary. That cute face had burned itself into your brain permanently. You envied his wife a bit for having gotten such a catch 20 years ago.  
Were you... really crushing on a _ghost_? Oh. **Oh no.**

His arm around your shoulders earlier today had felt kinda nice too, there was no point in lying. It had been a comforting weight when he drew you in to soothe you as you cried for him and the pain he went through. Was still going through.  
You really needed to get a grip on this or you’d be in a world of trouble.

Seemingly out of nowhere Connor appeared in your view. He stood in the middle of the living room and you jolted in your seat with a gasp. He chuckled in response.

“I, uh... used the bell but you seemed… preoccupied.”

Looking up at him you put the book facedown on your chest. You’d have to reread the whole chapter anyway. “I was, yeah. Sorry. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I came to say thank you.”

“Uhm... What for?”

“For everything”, he smiled and came around to sit on the couch with you when you drew your legs back and sat up.

“For helping me. Helping me find this note that might not even be here anymore. And for keeping me company. Listening to me. It’s… nice to have someone around again. Someone who can actually interact with me.”

“I enjoy this too. Talking to you I mean”, you smiled. “But how is it possible that I can see you and others can’t anyway?”

Connor shook his head, looking straight ahead at the crackling wood in the fireplace, elbows on his thighs.

“You’re the first one who could. I don’t know what’s different this time. Guess that’s where most of those stupid ghost movies were wrong. Not everyone who is just longing to see the dead and brings a spell book can really see them.” A bitter chuckle left his lips.

You mirrored his expression before you carefully asked the next thing.

“The only one? Did your wife never-”, but you paused, suddenly thinking you were overstepping a line again. Didn’t you just swear you’d never be nosy again earlier today? Asking about his wife was out of the question but your mouth had been faster than your brain. “Nevermind, sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“It’s- it’s fine. Really. And no. She didn’t see me. Couldn’t see me, no matter what I did.” 

Connor looked to you, searching your face.

“Go on, I’m listening if you’re willing to share”, you reassured him.

“I don’t want to put more strain on you than necessary. This day was so hard for you anyway-”

“You’re not. I can take it, I’m a big girl Connor. Even though I cry like a little one sometimes.”

That brought a small smile to his face and the dimples on his cheeks out. A sight you had come to cherish very much.

“The first few days I stayed hidden, I let her grieve. She had always been sad in a way I couldn’t understand. Like she carried the weight of the world on her too fragile shoulders and that’s what made even the better days bad. She suffered a lot from a mental illness so me being gone hurt her tenfold. She never cried a single tear for me. Not because she didn’t want to, but because she had already cried all the tears she had to give years ago.”

A sad smile was playing on his lips.

“Jules was haunted even before I became a ghost, her own mind never letting her rest. It drove her mad on some days, so bad even I couldn’t get through to her. But I loved her and she loved me. That should have been enough, right?”

You didn’t say anything and let him speak his piece, didn’t dare to interrupt his monologue when he was so forthcoming with giving a part of himself to you so freely.

“I guess, no, I _know_ it just completely broke her when the accident happened. My negligence was what drove her over the edge. I couldn’t do anything about it. Believe me I tried. I lit the lights by her bedside when she tossed and turned from a nightmare. Lay in bed beside her and hugged her to chase those dreams away. She couldn’t see me, couldn’t feel me and I couldn’t make myself known to her, no matter how often I said her name, how desperately I tried to touch her face.”

Connor was choking on his own words and you were trying hard to hold more tears back as he poured his heart out completely. You wiped at your eyes again but told yourself to be brave this time. This wasn’t about you.

“So there was no way for me to reach out to her other than putting her favorite mug to the front of the cupboard every day. Or turning on the lights once in a while, placing pictures or other little trinkets that meant something to us in prominent places… She didn’t notice any of that. Never said a word again after the police had left that night.”

He got quiet for a moment, looking anywhere but your face while you regarded him carefully. The way his eyes got sad with every memory he recalled. Memories haunting a being that was meant to haunt. It was terrible to even think this but he had a perfect face for this melancholia, it suited him way too well.

“She had been a shadow of her former self for a while longer before she gave up on life completely and took too many sleeping pills one night. I was there, yelling at her to stop this. But why would she hear me now? I was with her the whole time. Was there when her friend found her the next day and they brought her away to the hospital but I couldn’t follow…”

You let the words sink in. This was worse than you could’ve ever imagined. Way worse and all you wanted to do was hug Connor and never let him go again.

“You might think why I haven’t met her in the after life, right? A ghost contacting a ghost. Well, it seemed she was done with her life, nothing left unfinished so she travelled right on through. I can’t reach her from here.” 

A heavy, meaningful sigh filled the air for a second and you were glad Connor kept on talking, not trusting your voice to not crack at this revelation. He seemed pretty okay with sharing all this but then again he had a lot of time to deal with those events already to be so composed about this.

“This is why I have to find the note. Maybe there’s an answer for me in there. I need to know what she had to say when she called me...”

“I get that”, you answered after a long moment. “Oh god, Connor I’m so sorry for all this. Seeing her like this and not able to do anything- That must’ve been hell.”

“No, hell is the other direction”, he tried to joke, looking at you briefly.

“Wait, you mean… There’s a _heaven_?”

“Yeah. At least something like it. Stupid as it sounds. Though there is no heaven and hell as in the concept we have of it. There’s no purgatory and no old man with a white, long beard or whatever you imagine god to be. But there are other spirits that help you settle into your new state of being. And talk to you about the rules. Like how you get ‘punished’ if you misuse your power to become some kind of poltergeist just for the fun of scaring people.”

“You’re kidding me right”, you laughed out and smiled at him, eyes wide.

“NO! I swear there is someone or something handling the dead. There would be chaos otherwise!”

You shook your head, trying to wrap your head around what Connor told you. It seemed so… unbelievable but on the other hand you were talking to a very real ghost right now.

“Huh, I learned more in those weeks here than I did my whole life about supernatural stuff. You can walk through walls like it’s no big deal but not find some piece of paper. That’s kinda-”

“Ridiculous?”

“Yeah.”

“I know.”

You both chuckled but fell silent again shortly after. Connor’s gaze met yours briefly, eyes shining with unshed tears. You wanted so badly to help him and ease his mind. He deserved nothing less than finally being free from this weight he carried for years now. At the same time, a small voice in the back of your head made itself known. If Connor found this note, his unfinished business would be finished and he would travel on to another realm too. The selfish part in you didn’t want that to happen and you hated yourself for it.

“I’ve searched everywhere. This house isn’t that big and I had quite a lot of time on my hands, as you can imagine…”

“It has to be somewhere, right? It can’t just have vanished. Even if we have to touch everything twice again, we’ll find it”, you assured him despite your conflicted thoughts.

Putting a hand on his knee then out of reflex, Connor looked down to where your fingers were splayed out. Something in the air changed, you thought. Something that made your skin crawl and the hairs on the back of your neck stand up in a good way.

His eyes searched yours again and you thought you saw the shadow disappear from behind them, eyes open and shining again. When he spoke, his voice wasn’t more than a whisper, so insecure and hesitant and your heart started racing at his words.

“I- There is something here that- that I have never touched before. But I would like to touch it very much...”

Your breath hitched but you held his intense gaze, not able to tear your eyes away. Did he just imply-  
He looked so fragile, so enticing but… It wasn’t right. None of this was, no matter how badly you _maybe_ wanted this yourself. Connor wasn’t really here. And at the same time he was closer to you than most of the people you had known for years. 

“C-Connor”, you stammered, wanting to come up with a good explanation why you really, really shouldn’t do this but nothing came to mind. 

“Please. Please, (Y/N) just let me kiss you this one time. I need to- I need to _feel_.”

His cool hand came up to cup your burning cheek and it felt so much more intense in contrast, long fingers curling protectively around the back of your neck. You wanted to say no. No, that wasn’t right. You needed to say no, but instead you nodded and Connor leaned in, capturing your lips in a featherlight kiss that knocked the air out of your lungs.

It didn’t feel so different after all. His soft lips teasing, caressing yours, coaxing you into opening your mouth to let him taste you fully. And you did, sighing contentedly. Or was it him? You couldn’t be sure, being too lost in this perfect moment. All you knew was that you didn’t want to be anywhere else in the world right now, melting against him. Your hand on his thigh tightened as he claimed your mouth like it belonged to him and him alone and you swallowed each other’s every sound.  
For a long blissful moment, nothing else mattered and you broke the kiss after what felt like an eternity and yet way too soon, foreheads resting against each other’s.

A dopey grin and a whispered “wow” were all you were capable of right now but Connor seemed to snap back to reality way too fast, pulling away.

“I’m- I’m sorry, I-”, Connor stammered, standing up.

“It’s okay, Connor, I-”

“No, I shouldn’t have... This is not what... It’s not right! It’s unfair on you and selfish of me.” His voice was mere a whisper, the guilt evident in his words.

“I liked it.” You stood up too, reaching for his hand, looking deep into his eyes and that seemed to interrupt him in his haste.

“You… did?”

Big brown eyes looking at you, warm and full of wonder.

“Yes.”

It was a simple word but it meant everything. And with that you put your hand on the base of his neck and pulled him into another, slow kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beautiful header picture by [vrtuellereality](https://www.instagram.com/vrtuellereality).


	6. chapter six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You try to sleep that evening but it's not that easy. Maybe your favorite ghost can help you calm your mind?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm gonna say it. This is the chapter some of us have been waiting for. My first time writing ghost sex. However that works. I imagine it like this so please, enjoy. ;)

  
  


That evening when you lay in bed, sleep didn’t find you easily at all. Too much of what had happened today was going on in your head. You were bubbly and confused at the same time and didn’t know how to really feel. On the one hand you were the happiest girl right now, having gotten kissed by the one guy you had fallen in love with over the last few weeks. And who seemingly felt the same way.

But your brain wouldn’t shut up about the wrongness and irrationality of it all, your thoughts looping around the same damn thing over and over. _Where did you think this was going?_  
It wasn’t like you regretted this all of a sudden. Not at all. Of course you had wanted to kiss Connor earlier. Of course it had felt nice and yes, it was you, who had initiated the second one. But just because you wanted something so bad that didn’t make it right. Right?

You had sat together for a while longer, enjoying each other's nearness, exchanging hesitant, affectionate touches and words but avoiding the very big elephant in the room.  
And after Connor had gone again, that small voice in your head had grown even louder. The one that told you this would only end in heartbreak. That this wasn’t gonna last. 

Why the hell couldn’t your brain not let you enjoy something for once instead of worrying so much and leave the bad thoughts out for at least a day?

A moment later you felt cold air creeping into the room and knew he was there. He didn’t even need to jingle that little bell anymore but did anyway, out of habit by now.

“Hey you... Can’t sleep?”

Connor materialized seemingly out of nowhere, his voice so soft as he sat down on the bed, a cool hand on your hip in a comforting gesture. 

You smiled faintly and shook your head. You had pondered over it for hours now, a conclusion not in sight. Common sense battling the feeling of wanting to be close to Connor, no matter what. Sitting up, you crawled over to sit beside him when the light on the end table flicked on.

“Sorry, an old habit”, Connor smiled and his hand cupped your cheek.  
You leaned into that more than welcome touch, couldn’t not when he was looking at you _like that_. 

“It’s fine. Saves me the effort.” You smiled back but Connor caught on the tone of your voice

“Is everything okay? You seem... different. Did you have second thoughts about this? Us, I mean...”

It was no use lying, so you nodded, lowering your gaze.

“A bit yeah. I mean, not really, just… I have no idea where this is going.”

“Yeah, me either”, Connor admitted. “But I know it’s what I want for now. We don’t have to put a tag on it, do we? I mean… I feel- I feel connected to you in a way I can’t explain. I just don’t want to lose it again right away. I felt like I scared you off more than this kiss brought us closer.”

“I know exactly what you mean. And you didn’t scare me off. I just… my mind is a mess right now. It was a hell of a day. But I do want this too. Right now I do want this more than anything. Maybe we should just… figure out the next steps out as we go?”

When you suddenly became so sure of things you didn’t know. Was this the coin-flip moment? That you suddenly knew what you were wishing for as soon as you tossed a coin into the air, hoping for heads or tails?

“Sounds good to me.” Connor brushed his knuckles over your cheek so tenderly, turning your face in his direction and put his lips on yours again. You could really get used to him kissing you like that. All your doubts seemed to vanish into thin air. A sigh escaped you as his firm tongue asked for permission to part your lips and explore your mouth another time.

Your hand wandered to his thigh, looking for balance when his kiss got more fierce and demanding, stealing your breath away..  
For a moment you didn’t think. You didn’t think about the too-pale-guy currently trying to devour you, holding you close.  
You didn’t think about him making you feel all warm and fuzzy when he looked at you with those shining brown eyes.  
And you certainly didn’t think, when in addition to him claiming your mouth, his other hand snaked under your sleep shirt, caressing the sensitive skin of your stomach making you gasp into the kiss. 

You felt him smile and chuckle, the intensity of that hungry mouth increasing.  
His nimble fingers scraped lightly over your skin, sending shivers down your spine.

“It’s been so long”, he murmured, his forehead resting on yours while you both tried to regain your breath. 

“Oh really”, you shot back, smiling, eyes still closed. When he drew away he looked like he had an apology at the ready but you stopped him by placing another kiss on his mouth, cupping his jaw in both your hands.

“Then we better be fast.” 

Connor looked to the floor and you thought you saw a flicker of the same battle behind his eyes that you and your mind fought all day.

“If you want”, you added hastily, hoping you hadn’t been too bold now.

After a moment more, a breathy “yes” and a look from under his lashes told you all that you needed to know. You were on each other again, kissing while you pulled your shirt over your head with a little help from him, tossing it to the side. You would have wanted to take your time, not rush it all but this wasn’t the occasion for it, both of you impatient and needing to be as close as you’d get as fast as possible.  
His hands were seemingly everywhere at once, stroking your back, your stomach, your breasts. He was reveling in the feel of your skin, dragging his fingers over your heated flesh as if he could soak all that warmth up while sighing into your mouth.

Connor lay you gently on your back then, making quick work on the fastening of your pants. As you lifted your hips to help, he pulled them down your legs, leaving you in just your already damp panties. You watched his every move as he sat back up and shed his own shirt and jeans (and wondered for a moment how ghost-clothes worked but that was a problem for later) Right now you wanted this, wanted this man, wanted to sleep with him, irrational as it might have been. 

Just when you thought about how marvelous he looked with all those freckles on his skin and how you wanted to kiss every last one, he smiled at you, all bashfully. It made your heart lurch and belly tingle in the most pleasant ways possible.  
His cock stood proudly against his abdomen, waiting for attention you were so eager to give him. Seemed he had really been needing this.

You mewled at the sight and jerked slightly when Connor’s fingertips slid over the material of your underwear, scratching against the wet material and grinning smugly down at you. In a teasing manner he pulled them to the side to dip his cold finger between your slick folds testingly, making sure you were ready. He hummed in appreciation at what he found.

“So wet already…”, he chuckled and circled your clit for good measure a few times, making your legs shake. He was breathing hard himself by now.

“Don’t tease, Connor”, you choked out, biting your lip. “I need you inside of me, I can’t wait any longer.”

Thank heavens that you had that little life crisis and rented this house was all you could think about when he took himself in hand and guided himself to your entrance, nudging you.  
You reached out to grab his upper arms, pull him in, pull him closer to you. You needed every inch of you to touch each other so bad.

“Impatient, aren’t you? Hey, I’m the one who hasn’t gotten any in almost 20 years…”, he grinned and his dimples stood out so beautifully. It seemed he had mercy on you though, tugging the panties down your hips and all the way off. The way he licked his lips made your heart beat double time.  
Connor braced himself above you, positioned himself. Your eyes met, both of you already panting slightly, and with one firm thrust, pushed into you, making you gasp and clutch at the sheets beneath you.

This felt so good. So different, but so good. Like everything he did. It took some getting used to that his cock was just as cool as the rest of him but once he was in, past the first resistance, you didn’t even think about this anymore, welcoming him into your heat.  
With a strained grunt from him and a long moan from you, he bottomed out, hips flush against yours.

You were panting, adjusting to his size that was too much at first but soon felt like the most natural thing in the world. You pressed your cheek into the pillow. Connor hovered above you, hands on either side of your head for support. He touched your jaw tenderly, turning your attention to him and kissed you, making you lose yourself for a moment or two completely absorbed in the way he felt in and on you.

Instinctively you wrapped your legs around his, ankles crossed behind his thighs. When he broke the kiss, he whispered your name against your lips almost shyly and you nodded, understanding.  
He took first one, then your other hand and brought it over your head, lacing your fingers together, squeezing them, holding on to you. Then he started to shallowly thrust his hips. 

Slow and gentle, setting a good pace, pulling out more and driving back in deeper with every single glide. You whimpered, Connor’s name falling from your lips so easily. Mixed together with wordless cries when he hit that sensitive spot inside of you for the first time and then with every more forceful move. The sounds you made soon filled the whole room.

You clutched at his hands when he began to suck on your neck, licking and biting your pulsepoint in addition. His groans travelling straight from his lips into your system. You already felt kinda lightheaded and dizzy all over.  
Connor’s mouth, also cool against your flushed skin, was a pleasant contrast when you thought you were burning up from the inside out.

“Fuck, oh fuckfuckfuck-”

You moaned into his shoulder, strung tight as a bow as Connor continued, hips speeding up, losing their steady rhythm to become more erratic. So were the sounds he made. Needy and broken, chasing after a much needed release accompanied by the steady sharp smack of skin on skin. This was way too good to be true.

Too soon you felt the familiar knot forming, the warm tingling between your legs increasing. You were close and let him know, whispering breathlessly into Connor’s ear, voice hoarse already from the strain you put on it. Connor in turn just pressed kiss after kiss onto your jawline while he pounded into you with desperation.

“I got you, babe. I got you”, he mumbled back, his lips never fully leaving your cheek as he brought you closer to the edge. 

With one last thrust you came undone under him, clamping down around him as a white light lit up behind your eyes and you cried out once more, nails digging into his hands.  
Connor placed soft, little kisses on your shoulder, fucking you through your high. It didn’t take long for him to follow your lead.

“I’m gonna… Fuck, (Y/N), please, I’m-”, there was a pleading tone in his voice as you soothed him, hands coming up to run them over the straining muscles on his back as you tried to steady your breathing.  
And then he did follow. Face pressed into your neck and choking out your name, he throbbed deep within you, his cold seed coating you from the inside. A whole new sensation for you entirely.

Connor’s mouth was on yours again in a heartbeat, parting your lips effortlessly to slip his tongue in once more. Time stood still in this very moment, your hands resting on his cheeks, keeping him close.

When he lay down beside you, he faced you, noses almost touching, breaths mingling, both of you trying to come back to reality after this wonderful escape. Damn, that was just what you had needed and you couldn’t stop grinning. He mirrored your smile, pulling you in for another kiss but something had changed.  
Your face fell when you pulled away, looking at him, frowning the tiniest bit at his somber expression. You could almost guess what was on his mind, your thumb running gently over his brow instead.

Then he finally found his voice.

“You look like her a little bit”, Connor mused, his cold hand brushing away a strand of hair from your sweaty face, lingering on your cheek, “when you knit your brows together like that.”

A sad smile was playing on his lips. You mirrored it, keeping quiet.

“I- Fuck I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No. Yes… I mean it’s okay. Really. We know this is no happily ever after story”, you joked but hurt yourself in the process by saying it out loud. You were on the best way to get your heart broken. By someone who died two decades ago and just gave you the best sex in a long while.  
Putting it like that sounded downright alarming. It was true though and you never had wanted to get so attached to him. You hadn’t thought about what would happen next. When you had to leave this house. Not that it wouldn’t have been less problematic if you could stay forever, you’d still be thirsting after a ghost. 

“It was insensitive still. Especially after-.”

He bashfully averted his eyes while you cleared your throat awkwardly. 

“It is fine, Con. I know you miss her. She was your everything and I could never compete with her. I’m not trying to.” 

Connor gasped. “No! That’s not what-”

“It’s okay. Really. I can never be her, I know that. We are just helping each other out for a while. Coping.”

“There is no competition for you, (Y/N). Jules isn’t, not anymore. No one that made me feel like you for a long time, maybe never. It was just stupid-me, hung up on the past again. The past had been what filled my days and nights for so long, I don’t even know how not to think about it anymore. But I have been trying to live more in the moment since I’ve met you. You gave me hope again and I lo- lost so much of that lately before you came along. There’s only you for me now.”

His hand stroked your hair and you felt that if he’d kept on looking at you like that, you might actually start to cry. You had it bad. Oh god, you had it so bad for him.

“Connor”, you trailed off and simply leaned in for a kiss, words failing you but your lips told him all your mouth could not in this moment. Your curled up against his chest, his arms coming protectively around you until you fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beautiful header picture by [vrtuellereality](https://www.instagram.com/vrtuellereality).


	7. chapter seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A smaller, angsty chapter but just as important!  
> Reality catches up with those two and as expected, they're both not too happy with the way things will turn out in the near future. T-T

  
  


The days went by with you looking through every room of the house and doing _other stuff_ in some of the rooms too. Connor had become so much more open to you and you had come to the conclusion you should worry about the future later and live in the moment. Enjoying life and him while you could.

It was nice falling asleep in someone’s arms again, waking up with limbs entangled in the strangest ways. Connor had taken to reading his favorite books to you in the evening, when you sat at the fireplace together or in the garden on the little bench you had found in the shed.  
You pretended to live a normal life for a while. A life with him as a normal couple until one day when you checked your phone and reality caught you off guard. The world seemed to stop for a moment. One of the companies you had sent your application to was offering you a job. 

This wasn’t right. You should’ve been happy. You should’ve been screaming and yelling out of pure joy because it was the one job you had set your heart on to be honest. But all you wanted to do was cry because this also meant there was a timer running now. A timer counting down the happy days with Connor. You weren’t ready to give him up yet.  
Plus you weren’t none the wiser on this note from Jules. You couldn’t leave here without finding it first!

Clutching to your phone the phone you leaned heavily on the kitchen counter, calling for Connor with a shaking in your voice and moments later he appeared in the doorway, a little alarmed.  
“What’s wrong?”

Turning around you couldn’t hide the sad look in your eyes, nott hat you wanted to. Looking at him was hard right now.  
“I- I got the job.” Your words were unsure, more like a question, disbelief mixing in. 

Connor’s face though lit up and he moved towards you, cupping your face and kissing you like you had just won the main prize.  
“That’s fantastic news!! I’m so happy for you, darling! Is it the one you wanted? Pleas say it’s that one!”

You nodded and the first tears fell, though you tried hard not to let this get the best of you when Connor was exhilarated enough for the both of you. Putting the phone away you inhaled, failing miserably at staying strong. 

“What- why are you crying? Hey! You just scored a big gig! Finally people give you credit for what you’re capable of! You should be smiling and jumping around and-”, you flung your arms around his neck as he Connor closed his arms around you, sounding puzzled, “-hugging me. Why are you acting as if this is the end of the world?”

That last sentence was all it took and all floodgates opened, hot tears rolling down your cheeks. It was so bad you weren’t able to speak properly.

“B- because it is. It fucking is the end of the world! Connor, I’m gon- gonna have to leave, goddamnit!”

He patted your back, drew you closer and cupped the back of your neck.

“We knew this would happen eventually-”

“Yes! But not right n-now! I can’t leave now. Connor, I can’t l-leave _you_!”

Starting to rock you slightly, he kissed the top of your head as you sobbed against his shoulder. He did everything right and yet all in the world was wrong.  
Of course you had told yourself to not have any illusions, went into this with as much rationality as you could’ve mustered. None of it had you prepared for the actual moment your world fell apart. 

“Listen…, hey”, he cooed, “you’ve still got your life to live. The world is waiting for you out there, not here with me. I’ve got nothing to offer you and we knew that. We knew that from the first second this started. There are people out there waiting for you to kick their asses on that new job. And I’m sure there’s someone out there waiting for you to show your beautiful face and who wants to make you happy. As happy as you made me these past few weeks. That was all I could have ever wished for. Letting you stay, just for my sake, would be beyond selfish. You can’t be holed up here forever.”

“Why- why not?”

“Silly girl”, Connor was fighting back tears on his own, you could hear it in his voice. He wasn’t that good of disguising his feelings as he thought he would be. 

“I will miss you terribly. I know I will for all eternity but… That’s not a reason for me to keep you here.”

You rubbed at your eyes and for the first time looked at him, brown eyes shining with tears threatening to spill over as he tried to be strong for the two of you.

“You need to find your luck out there. I won’t say forget about me because… yeah, I’d rather you don’t forget me”, he leaned down to kiss the tip of your nose, a sad smile on his lips “but let me be a memory okay? Just a wonderful memory.”

“Connor, no… Don’t. Not like this...”

“Life is for the living. And I’m not part of that anymore.” His words held that kind of finality you had no objection to right now. You needed to talk to him about that again. Preferably when you weren’t hiccuping every two words and bawling your eyes out.

“Maybe I can come v-visit when I’m off work… Or I could b-buy this house and move here!”

He was smiling at you fondly but shook his head. “You really shouldn’t, sweetheart. You really, really shouldn’t.”

Nodding in defeat you looked to the side. Deep down you knew he was right. Deep down you knew this would be no way to live for you. Your brain knew this too, it was your heart that betrayed you.

“But right now”, Connor lightened the mood by picking you up and spinning you around with a genuine smile this time, “we should celebrate that this girl got her dream job!”  
And, damn, his grin was so damn contagious you could do nothing but reciprocate it. 

***

You lay on the couch later that day evening, your back to Connor’s chest. He hadn’t left your side today like he usually did, being on the hunt for his note. No, today he had been your shadow, always is sight, never too far away.  
That was most likely the way he dealt with the news that you’d be gone soon, making the most of the time you had together while you still could. 

He kissed your neck, pulling you out of your thoughts, lacing your fingers together and stroking your knuckles with his thumb. Connor was trying his best to be brave and logical about all this but how could he when feelings were involved? You saw it in his eyes that he wasn’t better off than you.

“I never asked when you will be gone”, he mumbled against your skin with such hesitance. Like he had worked up the courage all day to ask this question that hung heavy in the air.

“Next week. I’ll be packing my stuff on the weekend so I don’t forget something”, you whispered back, gaze fixing no point in particular.

“Hmm. Yeah. Don’t leave any stuff in my house please”, he chuckled bitterly and you bit your lip, not responding.  
“How about you take something home with you? As a keepsake. Take anything you like.”

“Can I take you home”, you shot back, letting your head fall back against his shoulder.

“I’m afraid not. Though I _would_ look good on your couch.”

“You’d look good anywhere, Con.”

“True.”

You shared a small smile as your mind started to drift off again. The idea wasn’t half bad. A lucky charm that would remind you of him sounded intriguing even if it would make you cry for a good long while. In the end though you'd be glad you had it, you were almost certain of that. 

“Do you have a shirt lying around somewhere? I mean- It’s crazy isn’t it? But I can’t think of anything better right now.”

You felt him shaking his head. “Sorry, I think that stuff got tossed out a couple of years back. And it’s not crazy at all. I would have loved to give you one of those. But I’m sure we’ll find something else.”

You nodded and Connor kissed your temple before you fell silent again, trying not to think about the upcoming days too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beautiful header picture by [vrtuellereality](https://www.instagram.com/vrtuellereality).


	8. chapter eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last days with Connor have arrived and there's not too many places to look for the note anymore.  
> Will you be able to help him find it before you have to go again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is near! But not too near yet! Roughly I'd say 3 or 4 chapters? Sounds about right. :3 I'm sorry that this is such a sad chapter again but it just comes automatically with the story. T__T

  
  


The next day came and you two decided to go through some boxes in the farthest corner of the basement and also tackle the attic. Those were the only places you hadn’t looked together yet.  
The basement just brought up more folders and paperwork. Stuff that was even too much trouble to throw away apparently. But not going through this wasn’t an option, even if it meant finding only papers that had been gnawed on already by the resident rats and mice.

When you turned around from closing the last of the boxes you saw Connor standing in the room awkwardly. Looking around like he was lost in a mall and waiting for someone to pick him up. To be fair though, he had had this distant and sad look in his eyes all morning. Watching you with such intensity when he thought you weren’t looking, burning the image of your face into his mind for when you were gone.  
Like this morning at breakfast.

_(“Do you miss it”, you had asked him then, taking a bite of your toast, pulling him out of his thoughts. He always made such a cute face when you caught him off guard._

_“Miss what?”_

_“Eating”, you had clarified, munching extra loud and grinning at him._

_Connor seemed to contemplate for a second before he answered._

_“I- never gave it much thought. It’s not like I get hungry anyway.”_

_“But the taste of certain things. Do you not miss that? Like... your favorite snack?”)_

When he had told you that he had a different kind of snack now and that it was better than anything else you both broke out into grins and giggles. None of that easiness was left now that you were on the hunt again. And quite frankly, you weren’t so sure to find the note anymore.

If Connor hadn’t found it by now and you together had turned this place upside down again, what gave you the certainty you would find it in the last four remaining days here?

Four days? Oh god, you had to stop thinking in numbers or you’d bawl for the rest of your stay.

“Should we go up to the attic or leave it be”, Connor said as if he had just read your mind. Turning around you gave him a puzzled look.

“I mean… we don’t have that much time left and I don’t want to waste it by going through his stuff again with next to no chance of finding anything.”

“Oh Con, no. I know. It’s frustrating but… I do think we should anyway? Feels kinda wrong not to. I’m sorry, I wish we would have found it by now but-”

“It’s not your fault. There’s nothing to be sorry about.” He extended his hand to hesitantly clasp yours. And you let him brush his thumb over your knuckles for a while. 

“It’s just the attic that’s left, isn’t it? Then we looked in every spot. And I think we should look there too, just so we can say we tried every option. Right?” You smiled up at him until he slowly nodded, eventually following you to the last room you had to inspect. 

***

There was even more dust up there that decorated even more boxes and also lonely pieces of furniture, that were more or less securely protected from the hands of time with a white-yellowy throw blanket. You walked up and down under the sloped roof, scanning the surroundings.

“Could have at least cleaned up the place a bit before you brought me here, Con”, you chuckled but didn’t get the desired response from him.

His eyes wandered about the place, maybe memories flooding his mind, maybe the impending goodbye present. He had been very quiet about it after you had talked it over and how it was the best way to part ways for good and not keep holding on to each other in any way. 

“Yeah, sorry. Didn’t have the time because I was too busy kissing you stupid”, he said to your surprise, a cocky grin on his face that didn’t reach his eyes.

You smiled at him. “You tried yes. So… Where do we start? Closets first? Oh, maybe I can find something here to take with me!”

“About that”, Connor started when you were about to open the first closet’s door but turned around at his words.

“I thought of something. I-I know it’s not much but how about the- the bell maybe? The one I used to-”

“Yes”, you interrupted, tears making your eyes shine at the thoughtfulness of that small keepsake. “I would love that very much, Connor. It’s perfect.”

You kissed the sad smile that played around his lips as he promised you to hand it over later and you two got to work on combing through the shelves and boxes.

***

“Almost done and nothing. Again”, Connor told you, beat and bummed out, sitting down on the armchair with the torn backrest.

“Still got this stack of boxes though”, you tried, not feeling too confident yourself. 

“And you still do believe in Santa too?”, Connor cocked his eyebrow at you.

“Well, no. But you exist! Wouldn’t have thought ghosts were real either, so quiet over there, Casper! Everything is possible.”

Connor waved you off with a grin as you flopped down on the floor and went to work on the next cardboard box full of probably old trinkets and tableware. But you were surprised when you were met with something else entirely.

“There’s a laptop in here”, you said as you opened the next box and Connor perked up at that, sitting up a little straighter.

“Yeah, I know. That’s Jules’. The one she sat on when I got home that night. Or didn’t get home I mean.”

An idea struck you then, your heartbeat picking up.

“The one she- Connor, could it be that the note was not handwritten but typed on this? Or is that too far fetched?”

You pulled the device out and set it down on the nearest surface while Connor came over, brushing the layer of dust off of it. 

“I- have no idea. I mean. Could be… She called me when she sat at that thing most likely.”

“Do you think it’s still working?”

“If it was I’m sure they would’ve sold it.” Connor came to stand behind you as you pressed the power button.

“Well, only one way to find out.”

To both your surprises the laptop started to boot but the battery was of course empty. So you hooked it up to the only socket and tried again. 

“Password… Shit, of course. And now?”

“Try my birthday”, he mumbled, excited and concerned at the same time.

You punched in the date he gave you and the desktop appeared.

“How come you’ve never tried that thing”, you asked him, a little puzzled. 

“Wouldn’t have gotten past the password. I can’t touch any electronics, remember? Can’t do anything but turn stuff on”, he answered, mesmerized by the little circle spinning and loading in the middle of the screen. 

You bit your tongue not to say that he could _in fact_ do more than turn stuff on. This wasn’t the time for innuendos. 

When the icons had finally loaded the home screen looked pretty basic, like it was a brand new and empty computer.

“THERE!”

Connor jabbed a finger at one icon, hand shaking. A text document titled “Connor”.  
Fuck. Was that it?

“Con, you know it could be coincidence-”

“Or it could be what I looked for all this time.” 

Connor rested his hands on your upper arms. You turned around and met his soft gaze, nodding but didn’t dare to hope too much. Or maybe wished it wasn’t what he was looking for. Him finding the note would mean he would be gone. It was selfish and wrong and you scolded yourself for it. Connor needed that closure. Whatever Jules had to tell him.

“It could be. But don’t be disappointed if it’s not, okay?” 

“Okay.”

You leaned to him and kissed his cheek, his eyes watery again. On the other hand… if this was the note he had been looking for you could only imagine what it would do to him either way. Which scenario were you really wishing for right now?

“I’ll open the document then and leave you alone.”

“Hmm. Okay. But please”, he squeezed your arms, “don’t go too far.”

“Of course not”, you smiled fondly and then double clicked on the white icon. You couldn’t help but read the date “november 2018” before you averted your eyes and Connor’s hands fell away from your arms. You went over to the arm chair and sat down, eyes flicking to Connor now and then. Curiosity battling decency and wanting to give him some private space.

When he started to choke out breaths and sniffles, you felt like crying yourself. 

Connor went through several facial expressions and types of gasps and awkward coughs in a matter of five minutes, finally settling on sitting there open mouthed and quiet. If that was a good sign or not you had no idea yet. 

“It- it wasn’t my fault”, Connor mumbled, staring ahead at the screen with a blank face, before turning to you. “It wasn’t my accident that caused her to end her life.”  
His mouth twitched as if to smile before the heaviness of that revelation hit him again.

A few tears rolled down your cheek, happy, sad, all of it mixed. Connor looked like the figuratively weight had just been lifted off of his shoulders and then not at all. All this time he had blamed himself for what had happened. All this time he thought he was responsible for Jules taking her life. You had no idea what the note said but it seemed to be enough for Connor to be able to breathe freely again.

“Can you- Can you come and close it”, he asked weakly, knitting his brows together.

“Sure”, you answered, your voice breaking just a little as you walked over and shut the laptop.

Extending his arm, Connor silently beckoned you to sit on his lap which you did without hesitation. He held on tightly to you as you cradled his head, laying yours protectively onto his and holding him close. His fingers danced over your hip, brushing, rubbing circles into your skin through the fabric of your clothes. For a while neither of you said anything but you knew what this was.  
This was a goodbye.

Connor’s unfinished business was no longer unfinished. He had all the answers he needed to move on now, to finally find his peace and maybe even get back to Jules.  
You knew you should’ve been happy for him. You knew you should’ve.  
The tears you were crying now weren’t out of relief though. You were already mourning the guy you were about to lose forever. By the time Connor found his voice and spoke up you let the tears run freely.

“She wanted to go the night of my accident." Connor choked on his own words, looking at his hands, rubbing it on his thigh in a nervous manner. 

“I don’t know when it happened. We got engaged pretty early, knew each other for most of our teenage life and all that. She was always… _normal_ you know? And one day she suddenly wasn’t anymore and started to slip. The smile faded from her eyes and then her lips and there was nothing I could do. She denied talking to a specialist. God knows how many fights we had about it. But I never gave up on hope. Never gave up on her and getting her out of this valley.”

“She- she was lucky to have you fight for her like that.”

“Maybe. But good intentions alone aren’t enough to save a person apparently. I should’ve done more.”

“You did everything in your power Connor, don’t say that. But sometimes even everything is just not enough.” Concern made your voice sound thick and strained and Connor didn’t answer for a long moment.

“That’s exactly what she wrote. It’s not my fault. All this time I thought it was my accident that caused her to- to take the final step. It wasn’t.”

Connor gulped hard, inhaling deeply before going on. You just stroked his hair, listening and trying to stop the tears and hiccups. 

“There was another note, unfinished and dated two months later. She was trying to write me a letter. After the funeral. After being here alone for weeks and how she tried to stay strong for me. But it was time for her. That’s all it said. God, I- I have no idea how to feel right now...”

“Take your time”, you mumbled. “It’s a lot to work through. After 20 years finally finding closure. I can only imagine-”

“I shouldn’t be this happy. Just cause I finally found it. Just cause I found out that I blamed myself for nothing all this time. I should by all means cry for her. And the fact I failed to save her.”

Connor looked up, a puzzled gaze meeting yours as a tear started to roll down his freckled cheek.

“And I’m sure you did that already. I’m sure you grieved for her to last you a lifetime. See you’re crying even now. What more do you want?”

It hurt so bad. Talking to him hurt like hell and you thought you must’ve inhaled toxic air that made your lungs burn, cutting off your air. Or was this what a broken heart felt like?

“That's the point. I'm not crying because of her”, he whispered your name, pushing a few hairs behind your ear. “I'm crying because I just got called in. It’s time for me to go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beautiful header picture by [vrtuellereality](https://www.instagram.com/vrtuellereality).


	9. chapter nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor has to go after finding the note. Will you ever see him again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so terribly sorry that you had to wait this long for a new chapter. But real life was not good to me in the meantime and I had to deal with a death of a close family member an that just took up all my energy. 😔 Big thank you to all the ones helping me through this! Shout out especially to my best girls in Hank's house! <3 You're a blessing!
> 
> But I come bearing gifts shortly before christmas! A long chapter awaits. In comparison not as sad as it could have been. Actually it's quite... sexy. 👀
> 
> Also we really are on the finish line, I've got two more chapters after this. Will hopefully post all of it before the end of the year. :3

  
  


The words had hit you long seconds after Connor had spoken them. The finality needing time to settle in, suffocating you and weighing you down like a heavy blanket.

“What? N-no, not yet! Connor you can’t-”

At loss for words you took his face into your palms instead, eyes locked onto one another’s. His hand clasped your wrists, lips trembling. 

“I don’t want to leave either but- It’s not my choice. Those are the rules, and- and I can’t do anything to avoid them. No matter how much I wish for it.”

“Those are some stupid ghost rules”, you whispered. When hot tears made their way down your cheek, he kissed them away. 

“I know... Just when I found you.”

Connor stood up, bringing you to your feet in the process too and slung his arms tightly around you, one hand between your shoulder blades while the other rested on the small of your back, squishing you as close as possible. You let your head rest against him, arms around his slender waist, holding on tight as hiccups shook your body.

“Maybe I can use my last wish to come see you before you leave in a few days. How does that sound”, Connor kissed the top of your head.

“A last wish? W-what-”, you trailed off. This was too much to comprehend right now, the devastating news and unexpected turn of events making your head spin. Thoughts racing through your mind and in every possible direction. 

“Yes. I told you there’s other spirits keeping the wandering souls in check right? And you’re granted one wish before you leave this world completely. If you deserve it.” Connor smiled but it didn't reach his eyes.

“Then why- why don’t you just make a wish to… stay here? With me.”

A bitter chuckle escaped him.  
“I’m afraid it’s not that simple. You can’t just wish for yourself to be alive again or stay where you are. Otherwise everyone would just never die and leave.”

“Makes… makes sense, yeah. But-”

Another sob racked your body and Connor’s cold hand came up to cup your cheek. 

“I’ll see what I can do. And please stop crying. Please, I don’t want to see you cry anymore for me. I wanna remember you with that beautiful smile on your face.”

That did the trick for a split second and forced a small laugh out of you, despite all the tears.

“There you go”, Connor’s mouth curled up the faintest bit and he put his lips onto yours, stealing a sweet kiss. 

You lost yourself for a moment, clinging to him and tried to remember every little bit of this when you felt him tense up.

“Oh no-”, Connor breathed out. “It’s starting.”

You pulled away, looking into Connor’s shocked face. A face that was starting to fade as his touch got lighter and lighter.  
Panicked you told him no, over and over. Tried to hold on to him, Connor reaching out for you too but all you could grasp was air, your hand going through his.  
He looked terrified himself when he should by all means be relieved that he could finally go.  
But neither of you wanted to give up the other. 

And then he was gone leaving you to stand alone in the attic. That was when you started to shake.

***

You had bawled your eyes out and wept for him. For the both of you. Alternating between whispering and yelling his name, hoping for him to come back but no such luck this time. 

The night had been awfully lonely. Restlessly tossing and turning before you had finally fallen asleep, crying for who knew how long. Not that the day after had been any better. You had hoped Connor would show himself again like he always had. That this all had been a bad dream. That he wasn’t gone for good and only occupied with something important. Your hope was crushed though every time you looked up and saw nothing. There was not a hint of him anywhere. 

The afternoon went by too without anything worth mentioning or even remembering. The house was eerily silent and for the first time since you had arrived, you felt uncomfortable here. The thought of leaving early was on your mind as you poured yourself a glass of water, standing at the kitchen counter. Nothing was keeping you here any longer anyway. 

Looking at no point in particular, memories rushed through your mind. Fading, like they were a scene from a video you had seen a long time ago. This exact spot was where it all had started, when you saw him for the first time.  
The shattered mug back then had left a small dent in the wooden floor. It was faint but it was noticeable if you knew what to look for. 

You had left an imprint on this house in the form of this dent, just like Connor had left his imprint on you. And just like this flaw in the flooring wouldn’t vanish, you wouldn’t get rid of the feelings you had experienced with him. The easiness, no secrets, no lies, no holding back. For the first time you had felt like you could be yourself.  
If you would ever find someone again that you could love so unconditionally and who would love you back so purely, he would still have a hard time competing against the man you had just lost forever.

It was dangerous being alone with your thoughts like that. Thoughts that could drag you down in a heartbeat and overshadow all the good things of the past weeks. Soon you’d open up a new chapter in your life, hopefully distracting yourself from this trip that had felt like a wonderful escape from reality. An escape you had hoped would last longer than it had. 

Deciding against leaving today, for it was too late already, you planned to at least pack up a few of your clothes later. Maybe tomorrow could be the day you made it back home. Nothing was keeping you here any longer now.  
You lay on the couch and let your thoughts drift off. You were tired. Tired and exhausted. What had that guy done to you to captivate you so completely? Thinking a bit more about the unfairness of it all, your body fell into rest mode and soon you fell asleep.

***

Jerking awake you shut your eyes tightly against the bright light coming from one of the table lamps and you stretched on the couch. You had no idea what time it was or what had woken you up but were glad it had, because a nap had been the last thing on your list for today really.  
Warm fingers brushed over your cheek, a thumb caressing your cheek bone, making you lean into the touch. That felt so- Wait. Warm hand-?!

With a gasp you opened your eyes after all and your heart skipped a beat or two.  
In the blink of an eye you sat up, getting off the couch onto wobbly legs.  
There he was. Connor. Only the paleness, you were so used to, was missing. He looked strangely _human_ all of a sudden.

“Con- Oh my god, what-”

“Hey.”

You pressed up against him, Connor’s arms closing around you so naturally as he murmured into your hair that he had missed you. But it didn’t distract you from the surprise at how warm his solid body felt against you. Were you dreaming? Connor had never felt like this, his hands, all of him had always been cool. What the hell was this?

Placing the flat of your palms on his chest you looked into his eyes that seemed to twinkle brighter than you’ve ever seen them before. 

“I- I don’t understand”, you stammered, alternating between being happy and perplexed. He really was here, wasn’t he?

“I used up my last wish. For a few hours I’m back in my body. They granted me this unusual wish because of my good behavior. I- I wanted to see you and touch you. _Really_ touch you just once.”

You took his face in your hands and kissed him. Kissed him like it was the first and last time in one. He felt so different like this but so, so good.  
Connor melted against you almost instantly, his hands falling to your waist and pulling you close, closer, impossibly close until there was no space for a sheet of paper between you. You couldn’t believe this was happening, so surreal but wonderful. Then again, what about the past weeks hadn’t been?

Not getting enough of the soft skin of his cheeks, his jaw, his neck you ran your hands over him over and over. Marveling at how perfect his sighs sounded in your ear and how you fit into his arms like you had been made for them. 

Connor’s kisses became more urgent by the second and soon he pulled away from you, a desperate plea spoken so gently. His hot breath ghosted over your lips as he searched your gaze, rich honey-brown eyes looking at you with such sincerity when he asked what you had wanted to hear so bad for one last time.

“Be mine for tonight?”

How could you say no to that?

****

Connor had reached for your hand and led you up the stairs straight to the bedroom. He pulled you in and kissed you, none of the sweetness evident that had been there moments ago. He was fierce and hungry, nibbling at your lower lip and slipped his tongue into your mouth when you hadn’t paid attention, being too absorbed in the feeling of his hands roaming your body.  
Moans and gasps filled the whole room as Connor walked backwards in the direction of the bed, dragging you along, never breaking the connection. 

When he reached the edge he sat down, pulling you onto his lap, securing you with big, sure hands splayed on your back, dancing up and down your spine.  
You whispered his name against his lips, a promise that this night would be worth it all. You hadn’t dared to hope to be with him again and so you would relish and savour it the best you could. Connor nodded, understanding, and angled his head differently, giving you both a few heartbeats to catch some air. 

“I need you”, you mumbled, eyes closed, kissing his cheek as he hummed in agreement and was already a step ahead. Finding the hem of your shirt, he pulled it over your head, tossing it to the side.  
He unclasped your bra, shedding it too, as he mouthed at your breasts, sucking a nipple into his hot mouth to tease and grinned when you couldn’t contain a moan. 

Arching your back you cradled his neck, massaging the base of his skull, urging him on.  
It felt so different to what you were used to with him. His warm lips were caressing your tender flesh, licking and worrying it to just the right extent while his hands brushed over your flanks.  
Peppering your bosom with kisses he finally let up and you knew exactly why, feeling him grow harder under you wiggling in his lap by the second.  
Both of you got to work on his shirt next as it soon followed to add to the pile on the floor. 

Your hands roamed his torso, lean and warm and so responsive under your touch before you found the button of his jeans, flucking it open. Connor watched your every movement, like he wanted to burn these moments into his memory and so did you. When you couldn’t pull his pants down further he went to work on yours, pushing them over your hips as far as they would go before you had to stand up, stripping down completely. 

The thought that this was really the last time you’d get to see him and feel his touch almost brought tears to your eyes again. Instead of weeping you should have been grateful for this night you told yourself but it wouldn’t help. You would miss him no matter how many times more you'd see him. You'd never get enough of him to let go.

Connor though had different things on his mind it seemed and wasted no time. He scooted up on the bed before you followed swiftly, connected like magnets, straddling him almost instantly. Wide eyed Connor looked up at you, lips slightly parted and breath coming in short, harsh puffs already. An unspoken question passed between the two of you to which you only nodded. You needed this. Badly. And you needed to stop thinking about the what-comes-after and enjoy the here and now!

Extending your hand, you closed your fingers around Connor’s wrist, bringing it to your mouth, kissing his fingertips, kissing his palm. Keeping your gazes locked all the while you took two of his fingers between your lips and sucked on them, swirling your tongue. You smiled smugly when he started to groan deep from the pit of his stomach. The whimpered and drawn out “please” was just a bonus.  
Just like the flush, that had crept up to his cheeks and that went so well with the haziness in his eyes.

Connor's hips started to buck, missing yours by mere inches and that was your sign to stop this torture, releasing him with a wet pop. Instead you guided his long, slender fingers between your legs. He teased back now, getting his revenge on you when he dipped them into your already slick folds, dragging, curling them, making you suck in a breath as he swirled them around your clit. 

You steadied yourself on his shins, letting your head fall back just enough that you could still watch him watching you as he brought you closer to release. His other hand shot up to the back of your head, suddenly pulling you in for another heated kiss before his hand vanished from between your bodies. 

Whining against his lips you moving your hips, searching for any kind of friction but finding none. What a damn tease.

“Please”, you begged and “soon”, he promised before took a hold of your hips pulling you closer. Closer and to the exact spot where you wanted to be. Your head fell to his shoulder, kissing his neck as your arms snaked around him to rest on his shoulder blades before he had mercy on you and helping you sink down on his hardened length, guiding himself in.

You moaned, getting used to the feeling of being stretched around him once more as he drew circles into your hips with his thumbs, whispering sweet nothings and praise into your ear and how it felt to be in you again. 

After a moment more you began rolling your hips, rotating them ever so slowly. Connor let his head fall back against the headboard, groaning out a heartfelt "mhhhh" as he helped you ride him faster, impaling yourself on his length over and over.

Sighs, moans and curses filled the air as you felt the warm tingle in your belly starting to spread, letting Connor know exactly how close you were. He stilled your movements with strong hands and a moment later he had flipped you over onto your back. A surprised squeak left your lips and you grinned up at his smug face.  
Connor brought a hand up, pushing a strand of hair out of your face with such gentleness. He was panting but smiling so gorgeously, only his eyes held the same bittersweetness you felt too.

“I can’t believe I get this chance again”, he mumbled softly. “I missed you so much.”

You huffed in amusement, putting your hand over his, now cupping your cheek.

“I missed you too. There were other guys where I would have wished they’d vanish into thin air but… not you. How long will you be here?”

“Long enough”, Connor stole a kiss, giving his hips a nudge and catching you off guard by slipping in again easily. You gasped into his mouth.  
“I meant, will you be here in the morning? Will I wake up with you one more time?”

Shaking his head, he looked away. Connor’s voice was so small when he answered with an uncertain “I don’t know.”

You had expected that. Maybe hoped for something else but expected it anyway. Pulling Connor down for another, more desperate kiss, you started moving your hips. Needing to make the most of the time that was left for the two of you. Connor followed suit, drawing out to thrust back in as carefully at first and with more and more force every single time. 

This felt so natural by now you had to admit. Connor and you had used many opportunities like that in between the times you had looked for the note, spending _quality time_ together as much as you could.  
He knew your body like the back of his hand by now and it showed, knowing exactly just how to touch you to get you where he wanted you. 

Connor took a hold of one of your hands, intertwining your fingers and grasping tightly, pressing it into the mattress as his hips sped up, slapping against yours in an obscene rhythm. You squeezed his hand, whimpering when he hit that special spot inside of you again and again. Your noses almost touched, hot breaths mingling when you exchanged lazy, sloppy kisses and you started to chant his name, high pitched and breathless.

Connor cooed, harsh puffs of air ghosting over your cheek, distracting you from him changing the angle of his hips again and giving his all into it, setting off the grand finale that made itself known as a knot forming in the pit of your stomach. 

“Shit. Shitshitshit”, he panted in your ear, burying his face against your shoulder when he snuck a hand between your bodies and started to rub your clit, bottoming out with every powerful thrust. 

“Come for me babygirl. I need you to let go.”  
If it wasn’t this term of endearment then it were his almost pained whimpers that felt like the last drop that made you spill over and lose all of the control you were so desperately holding on to, drawing out the inevitable. 

You sobbed out a cry, not able to contain yourself any longer, you hooked your ankles behind his thighs as you fluttered around him. A delightful lightness spreading through your whole body, making you feel like you were floating for a moment. You had to hold on tight to Connor to not get carried away on this wave as he fucked you through your orgasm, his hips almost brutally snapping now. He was close behind. So close. 

“So good for me. So good”, he grunted out, his last words turning into a long, loud and guttural moan. His hips stilled and you felt him throbbing deep within you, spending himself completely, filling you up.

A dazed grin formed on your face as you felt his warm seed coating you from inside and Connor tried his hardest not to give in and collapse on top of you, crushing you in the process. You searched his lips and found them. He was panting hard but still you kissed him, stealing what little breath he had while he melted against your mouth.

When he pulled out and left you empty you felt the faint trickle of his cum down your legs. But you’d worry about that later and instead let him pull you onto his chest as he lay beside you and buried your face there, kissing his collarbone.

Your fingers traced the faint muscles of his upper body, tickling him and you felt them contracting under that heated skin. It brought a smile to your lips. Connor felt so good like this. All warm. All _alive_. Even if he wasn’t. Not really.

“I love you”, he murmured, voice breaking, and kissed your hair. When you looked up to meet his gaze you saw the tears that made his eyes shine even in the dim light of the lamp on the nightstand. So glassy, threatening to spill over but he was too stubborn to actually let those tears fall. 

You told him the same, reaching for his hand, holding it tightly. Connor let his other hand wander up and down your back again, fingertips caressing and lulling you into a nap you refused to take. 

“You should sleep, darling”, he whispered tenderly, pressing a kiss to your temple this time. 

“Nuh uh. Need to stay awake as long as you’re here”, you said but felt the effect of his massage already kicking in in the form of heavy eyelids. 

Connor couldn’t help but chuckle. “A bit stubborn are we?”

“Just a little bit.”

With a huff he fell silent for a long minute, but kept on drawing circles into your skin. 

“I’m always with you, okay? Keep watch over you. Don’t think for one second that I’ll ever forget you or what you’ve done for me.”

You smiled, a single tear rolling down your check and onto his chest. This was unfair. You really didn’t wanna fall asleep. You really, really didn’t. Not now. Not as long as Connor was here for the last time. Still your eyes betrayed you and closed on their own accord until you dozed off in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beautiful header picture by [vrtuellereality](https://www.instagram.com/vrtuellereality).


	10. chapter ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After your night with Connor you deal with the after effects and the fact that you're leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry you had to wait so long but thank you for being so patient! I will post the last remaining two chapters in quick succession. It's all written, just needs some polishing and then we're at the end of this rollercoaster ride. <3

  
  


When you woke up again you were alone, found the bed beside you already cold. A look to the clock told you it was very early morning. And you hated yourself. You hated yourself for falling asleep and missing out on the last hours you could’ve had with Connor. But your body had betrayed you and went to sleep without you wanting to. And he of course hadn’t kept you awake.

Maybe it was easier like this. Maybe him being gone all of a sudden was easier than seeing him vanish another time. Better for you and your already broken heart. You could only guess that he held onto you until the very last second, thinking you still felt the faint touch of his fingertips on your upper arms, his warm lips brushing over your temple. Even if it was just wishful thinking. 

Just like you hadn’t been able to keep from falling asleep, there was no way for you to stop a few tears that were coming, stinging in your eyes. Connor surely would scold you with a smile for crying so much over him. He would also wipe those tears away while doing so.

Sitting up and looking around, again with the impossible hope of finding him looking at you, you were disappointed another time. You were completely alone. What had you expected really? Damn your hopelessly romantic heart.

When you got out of bed you felt the dried reminders of last night sticking to your thighs and decided to take a shower before you’d throw all your belongings into your suitcase and leave as fast as possible. You couldn’t take another minute in this empty place. 

The hot water didn’t do anything though to get the uneasiness out of your muscles and bones that Connor’s absence had put there but at least you felt okay enough to tackle this day 10 minutes later.  
When you walked back into the bedroom something on the nightstand caught your eye that hadn’t been there the night before. It was the bell.

Connor had promised you that you could keep it as a good luck charm but had disappeared before he could give it to you that time in the attic. He must’ve placed it there before he had been called back earlier.  
Feeling your throat tighten, you took it into your hand, turning it over and jerked at the low chime it gave. A chime that you were so used to hearing. That had brought a smile to your face so many times. Right now you didn’t know if you really wanted to keep it.

Closing your fist around it tightly minimized its clear sound and you were quick to put it on the bed before you went to work on emptying the shelves and closets. Rid everything of the traces you had been here at all, clothes and toiletry piling up on the bed to be stowed away messily in your bags and suitcase.  
A sudden motivation had hit you, determination of getting out of here speeding up your movements. 

You hadn’t meant for your stay here to get your thoughts even more jumbled than they had been when you arrived. You hadn’t meant to fall in love, even less with someone so out of your reach. Not that you regretted the time here, not at all.  
But if you felt broken and helpless when you had started this vacation, you were sure to be only half a person now. Connor had brought out so much good in you and vice versa. But he had also taken a part of you with him that you would never ever get back. You had grown too attached too fast. That had been a huge mistake. 

But could you blame yourself? He had made it so easy to forget about consequences, no matter how often you had talked it through. You were a master of denial and a pro in repressing things you didn’t wanna deal with until you had to. Until reality would give you no choice but to deal. And it hit you ten times harder that way.

Throwing the last balled up shirt into the suitcase your gaze fell to the golden bell again and you hastily put it between your clothes so you wouldn’t hear it with every movement. You could still put it in the trash at home. Right?  
Sitting on your suitcase to close it up was all it took and you zipped it up completely.  
It felt so final. It was final but you still couldn’t believe you were about to leave here forever.

You hauled your stuff down the stairs and called the local taxi company a few minutes later, making a last round through the house, taking a few pictures and making sure you left everything the way you had found it when you arrived here.  
Empty and lifeless. Just a shell. A house but not a home.

Closing the door behind you for good was a stab in your chest. You needed to forget about this, needed to stop being sorry for yourself and instead be grateful for the chance you had. For having met him at all. Being the one person who could help him move on and enjoying a very special last night together.  
But humans were greedy and always craved for more. Nothing was ever enough.

You had promised him, albeit in tears and choked up, that he’d be a fond memory and not one that would make you feel gloomy for the rest of your days. Who could say you wouldn’t forget about him in a few years? Nobody knew where you’d be then. Maybe in another relationship. Maybe having your own family. Maybe he would just be a story you’d tell your friends and they’d wave you off with a smile for being such a goof. 

You looked up into the faint blue sky. A few thin clouds moved by and as stupid as it sounded, you hoped he really was some kind of guardian angel and could see you now. See you trying your best. See you making good on your promises. 

“I’ll try for you. Goodbye Connor”, you murmured before the taxi pulled up and you walked through the wooden fence that fell into its lock heavily. Stowing away the bags in the trunk of the car you took one last look at the cozy little cottage.  
So unimposing and yet it changed your whole world. A last glance at the flower pot, where you had hidden the keys under again, and a heavy sigh later you got into the backseat, trying your hardest not to tear up when you told the driver where to go. You didn’t dare to look back again when the car set into motion, taking you away. 

Taking you home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beautiful header picture by [vrtuellereality](https://www.instagram.com/vrtuellereality).


	11. chapter eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even some time after your departure from the house you still think of Connor and miss him dearly. On top of it all you feel a little strange these days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it my dears! The end is nigh!
> 
> I would be lying if I said I'm not a little teary-eyed myself because I really am. 😢😢 I got a little more attached to this fic than I anticipated but it also feels good to have it finished. So many mixed feelings right now. But this means that I can get to work on other projects I've started or plan to start. 👀
> 
> So here it is, the final part of the journey! I hope you'll enjoy!

  
  


**Eight weeks later**

You stopped your vehicle under the car park in front of the complex you lived in. The new job was exciting but also a bit more tiring than you would’ve liked. That’s what happened when you tried to settle into something new and challenging. All the bad would vanish and become your new normal. Eventually.

But being that busy also took your mind off recent events which was always welcome. It felt like it had been half an eternity since you left that cottage and Connor behind when in reality it had been a couple of weeks. Weeks of heartbreak and pining for a love that you would never get back. That never should have been in the first place.  
The steering wheel got hit a few times out of sheer frustration and despair.

You thought about him every day. About the warmth in his eyes, his smile. On that last night you had together, when he _really_ held you in his arms. It had been the best night of your life but also the most cruel one. It had been taken from you before you even could cherish it as much as you should have. Too soon. It would always have been way too soon.  
Though by all means you should've been grateful to have been given the chance of seeing him, feeling him again in the first place. For that truth to hit you it would take some time, the pain was still too real, too much to bear. 

It had been futile to think you could have held him on the side of the living anyway. That was not how life and death worked. A force beyond your reach. Nothing you could’ve done would have changed the outcome.  
A bitter tear rolled down your cheek and you wrapped your arms around your middle tightly. 

This strange feeling wouldn’t go away, that pinching and the way your stomach twisted out of the blue for a good two weeks now.  
Maybe that was the after effect of having sex with ghosts. Would explain the urge to retch your heart out in the morning too that had become a daily ritual for a while now.  
It wasn’t natural and maybe this was your body resenting it, telling you to never do it again. Not that you ever could repeat it. It could also have been a simple stomach flu.

It had been a few special weeks you had had there. With a little distance you’d see this and understand that it was for the best that this forbidden and impossible relationship could never be. He promised to watch over you. You had your own guardian angel now. Who could say that about themselves?

When you had cried enough for the past, you got out of the car and made your way to the door. Your hands were shaking again after getting upset about the same damn thing and the pain in your belly grew stronger too. And the damn key just wouldn’t go into the lock on first try.  
Wiping at your nose with your sleeve you were about ready to cry again.

“Godfuckingdamnit”, you cursed non too quietly and forcefully made another attempt at opening the door.

“Oh, you better don’t let him hear that.”

You spun around at the chuckle that followed and your heart stopped for a second. No. No this couldn’t be. It wasn’t- 

“C-Con… Connor?”

You felt like fainting all of a sudden, seeing him standing there, hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans, a dark grey windbreaker protecting him from the autumn wind and a happy smile on his face. And most of all… not white as a ghost or with wings like an angel.

“In the flesh”, he still smiled while making a few steps forward, stopping right in front of you.

“In the flesh”, you mumbled after him, reaching out to touch him. “Are you… really here?”

In a heartbeat his arms came around you, pulling you into a tight and very warm hug while you buried your face in his chest, inhaling shakily, thinking for sure you had gone crazy now

He soothed you, rocking you slightly and stroking your back.

“My late-wife never used her last wish it seemed. And seeing me up there, after all that happened, she finally knew how to use it. She granted me an anything-goes-wish cause I was needed here. That’s more than a normal last wish for special occasions”

“Anything-goes-wish? So… so you came to see me again? Connor, I-”

“No”, he interrupted. “No, I didn’t come to see you.”

You looked up at him, face falling but Connor’s eyes still shone so brightly. 

“I came to stay.”

When the words had sunken in you slung your arms around him so tight you thought you would squish him, tears falling freely.

“How? I mean- What?! How is that possible? I don’t understand-”

“It’s not that complicated? If- if something unexpected happens with one that doesn’t belong on earth anymore, the rules can… be stretched and bent a bit. But it has to be a really special and severe matter.”

“You mean when we-”

Connor blushed slightly but nodded. 

“Yes, like when we- did what we did. This shouldn’t have happened. The after effects weren’t unforeseen.”

Now it was your turn to chuckle though you still couldn’t fully process what he was saying. He was allowed back here because he had sex with you? That was all?

“Well, the boss himself decided that I will be needed here and granted me a second chance at life.”

“That’s- I have no words. I’m just so- Of course I need you. You can’t imagine how much!”

“Oh, you _two_ will need me”, he smiled, cupping your cheek.

“T-two”, you stammered dumbfounded, not comprehending at first but realization dawned on you when he simply didn’t stop smiling. Then your hand went to your stomach, your jaw dropping.

“I am… we are… ? Oh my god.”

Your brain was suddenly very empty except for one thing: Connor had gotten you pregnant on that night? 

“You hadn’t noticed? The nauseousness? The sudden pain in your belly?”

“Sure I noticed. But- I thought it was the stress and all that.”

“There sure will be stress in the future”, Connor grinned, “and many sleepless nights.”

“I don’t know what to say, Connor. I’m a little overwhelmed here..”

Connor pulled you close again, kissing your temple. Just like he had done so many times. It felt nice. It felt right. 

“It’s okay. Take your time, love. Because time is something we do have a lot of now.”

He then took your face in his hands and brought your lips together. And he kissed you. Kissed you like never before while you clutched his sides, not planning to let him go ever again.

As unlikely a duo you had been from the start, something seemed to have bound you from the very first moment you met. You two had literally defied time and space, became one against all odds. And against all those odds you would bring a new soul into this world. Maybe it had been destiny. Some kind of fate bringing together kindred spirits, soulmates. This bond you shared would endure anything, you were sure of that. If even death couldn’t keep you apart, what else did you have to fear?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this last chapter and that it wraps up the story of those two in a good way for you. Please feel free to yell into the comments about it and also share your suspicions about how you thought this all would end! I'm really curious!
> 
> A big, big thank you to each one of you for reading this fic and supporting me with all those lovely comments and kudos that fuelled me on. 😊
> 
> Until next time. <3
> 
> Beautiful header picture by [vrtuellereality](https://www.instagram.com/vrtuellereality).

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Haunted Heart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27318397) by [Wolveria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolveria/pseuds/Wolveria)




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